I realize the frequency with which you come to mind is the workings of my overactive brain. This mass of cells is awash in chemicals that your overbright smile triggers. The question that arises most often is: is she thinking of me? Probably not.
It’s such a funny thing (even though you do not smile). It’s the same thing that causes me to put pen to paper. I hope to be known someday. I hope that you won’t let me fool you. I think it may be too late for that. Gomenasai.
You already know. You’ve known for over a decade. What changed, other than kindness towards myself?? I let you come, yes. I let you and would never let you again. You have to want it more, want more for yourself.
Ur everything I told myself to avoid from here on out. A bartender, a smoker, a ladykiller. One who does not observe regular hrs. But when u saw me reach out my hand in the dark and grabbed it walking by, trails of fingertips, I was ready to throw my body to the wolves. Let’s make all the same mistakes. I’m not yet 30.
If I could hear that “hey” one more time, I think it would stop. This hole you burned inside me, branded and shaped into a half-finished project. I see your hands make my bed in the mornings, dark eyelashes like liner trembling with tears. You never saw me, but I loved you anyway.
My Architect: I think, perhaps, I have reached a conclusion. The foundation of our relationship is sturdy but the walls are bare and I have no opinion as to the paint colors or curtain rods.
-MMD, 12:32am, 9/26/14@3 weeks ago